Hello everyone,
After I woke up this morning feeling sore again, I had to go to the nutritionist to get my meal plan.
Did I want to go get a meal plan after feeling so physically uncomfortable ? No I did not.
To be honest, I really thought I did extremely well this week by increasing my calories on my own. I was actually considering canceling my appointment. But knowing no one on my health team or support team would support that decision, I went.
I was shocked to learn that despite my drastic calorie increase, my weight was the same today that it was last week (even though I do not know what that number is). It truly is mind boggling to me because when I look in the mirror I see a completely different and bigger person than I saw a week ago.
But that leaves me with the harsh realization that my so called healthy meal plan is most likely not that healthy.
So here I am one hour later with a meal plan that what the nutritionist considers restrictive is very very overwhelming for me.
I will be honest and say right now I mentally don’t know how I’ll be able to keep to this plan of constant eating but I know I’ll have to find a way.
I am going to take my black and white personality and put all of my effort and energy into trying my best to trust my health team and to just do what this plan says.
Ed is already telling me to throw the plan away. He’s already telling me that it will ruin what I’ve worked so hard for. But that is ok. I will continue to fight Ed today just like I have been .
So on that note, hello to a new day of fighting , hello to my new meal plan, and lastly, “hello life.”
Hello Life: A Year Without A Scale 
Don’t give up ,yes its hard ,Monday is a hard day we are all with u , u can write each time u are straggling , I love your mirror style of writing ,maybe in a bottle day write more then once might help. just to let u know that the world out side is loving u and proud of u to see u fight like that
thank you abs, I am able to fight because I have the best family in my corner. I love you
You are the greatest!!! Keep it up. Luv u Grandma
You’re the greatest, thank you Grandma!
Good job Shira!! You’re staying in the ring with Ed and giving him a run for his money. We’re all right behind you all the way! Even though you may think you have this black and white way of thinking, you are doing a great job of moving into the gray areas! I love you!
Yes, I hate these gray areas!! But I am able to do it because I have the best support system! Thank you Auntie Norine! I love you =)
Just focus on one thing at a time take the meal plan meal by meal and look at every meal you eat as an accomplishment, eat a meal and put it behind you, fight through the next one and put that one behind you , eventually it will be a regular thing, you are a fighter and you are used to fighting but now we are going to get used to winning ! Let’s go Win. Hello life!
Dean bo, this comment was very helpful for me today and I will look back at it alot. I know one day everything will be ok. I love you so much, we will win this together. love you
Shira good job. I’m very proud of you! you are so inspirational to many others. Love you keep up the amazing work ❤ ❤ ❤
Thank you so much!!! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support!
I agree with Dean Bo! Take one meal at a time. And since you can see now your vision of your body is false since you are the same weight as last week you KNOW you must trust your healthcare team at this time and not your eyes.
Keep on keeping on!
Thank you mom! I am going to trust them to get me to be where I need to be. Thank you for the support, I love you!
Shira, I can’t think of better advice than Deanbo gave you. I do realize one thing without having met you—you are a lot smarter than Ed. In spite of your bad days, you are making steady progress toward your goals and that is wonderful.
Thank you Judy!