Day 340: Our Bodies Have A Mind Of Their Own

Happy Friday everyone,

The recovery fighter support group is officially started and active online with discussion forums already flowing, and I just want to say thank you to the strong souls who are putting their heart, time and support out there to help one another.

If anyone else wants to be a part of it, please let me know. It’s a private group so you can only join via email invite through me. I set it up this way so it remains a safe and private place for all of us.

So onto today, who knew that my sweet tooth is still alive even when I am sick? 

Being sick has really taught me a different level of self care.

It’s taught me that my body truly has a mind of its own.

Now that I am sick, I am not really in control of what my body needs right now. If it doesn’t need exercise, it doesn’t, and that is something I have to honor.

If it wants food and sweets even if it’s not working out, it needs that, and I need to honor that too.

This is the kind of self care where I really need to take my own self out of the picture and just listen to my body.

My body has a mind of its own, and it really doesn’t care what Ed thinks.

Even on the days where we try to tell our bodies not to crave certain things, it doesn’t care. It will crave it even more, right?

Our bodies don’t care that it didn’t exercise today, it still wants and needs food. My body is probably enjoying its staycation from the gym in bed most likely-even if Ed is not.

My body doesn’t care that Ed is telling it to not want certain foods.

Praise and long live to my strong fighting body that doesn’t care what Ed says.

Hello life.


Day 334: This Is How We Celebrate One Month Left

Happy one month left of our one year journey lifers,

Before I start today’s post, I just want to say the Facebook forum will be up soon and I am still figuring out how to do it so I need a few days. But please continue to let me know if you want to be part of it =).

Today marks the official one month count down of our one year journey together.

So, how did I celebrate it?

I had a movie date with my 8-year-old brother, the one who said he would like to switch brains with me so he can have all the right answers in school.

Let me explain something about this little boy to you: not only is he funny, but he is warm, loving, and he loves sweets almost as much as me. So there was no one else I would rather spend this day with other than him.

I would like to say that I am the one who took him out, but he had two free movie tickets, so besides the candy and cookie we ate, he actually treated me.

Before we go to a movie, I always take my brothers to this candy store by the theatre so they can pick whatever they want.

Last time we were at this candy store, I remember exactly what I got: a few sugar free chocolate covered almonds and sugar free jelly beans. They were horrible.

Today, each my brother and I got our own bag, and this time, there was nothing sugar free in mine.

We watched the movie together and laughed together and I just kept thinking to myself how lucky I was that out of all the people in the world, he chose me to go watch it with him.

You know the craziest part? He had no idea that I was celebrating the last month count down of my year without a scale today; no one actually knew.

On our way out to the car, we stopped to get some pastries for a friend, and of course for us too, and he said to me, “Shira, if I could make a rule for the world, it would be that everyone loved pastries.”

And then we both laughed and said we both wish it could be true.

The entire way home, we talked about funny lines that we remembered from the movie, and we talked about how the boys bathroom in his school are not as nice as the girls bathroom (he says he only knows this because a girl, who he made very clear to me is not his girlfriend, told him the girls bathroom is nicer).

This is what I am celebrating today.

I am celebrating the world of loving pastries being a rule.

I am celebrating the world of sharing movie lines in the car.

I am celebrating the world where the fact that the boys bathroom is not as nice as the girls bathroom is a major issue.

I am celebrating the world where the girl you talk about when your 8 years old, is a girl, but make bi mistake, but she is not your girlfriend.

I am celebrating the world of things that really matter in life: the small, innocent, touching moments that no number on a scale and no job and no fancy title could ever give you.

I can’t think of a better way to celebrate my one month count down.

Hello life.

Day 289: She Is Living Proof That Hope Exists

Hello lifers,

Today’s post has nothing to do about food or about calories or about scales.

Today’s post has to do about hope.

As part of my senior project in one of my classes this semester, I have to present someone’s oral history to my class.

So today, I got the honor of sitting down with the woman who I chose to present and hear her story.

I’ve known her since I can remember, as she was my neighbor growing up and over the years she became family. 

During my entire journey of this year without a scale, she has been an undeniable source of strength and wisdom for me and she has become to know my entire story as I am writing it everyday, yet I never knew hers.

I could write pages about the things I learned from her today, but to sum it up for blog post sake, I will leave you with the most important elements.

This woman is truly the definition of a fighter and a conquerer, and let me tell you why.

She experienced an extremely unfair and unjust childhood, she didn’t have an easy adulthood and she never had anything handed to her.

She could have let life defeat her. She could have let her own Ed (whatever kind of monster he may be, doesn’t have to be with food) defeat her. 

But she didn’t.

She told me that it took her until the age of 50 to learn a lot of life’s major lessons, such as that everything happens for a reason and that there is strength behind that.

At the same time, she told me how happy she was for me that I am getting my life together at the age of 23, at the very beginning of it.

Lesson number 1: It is never too late to change your life. It is never too late to change your destiny. And it is never too early to start either. Regardless of the place in life anyone reading this is at, it’s never too late to strive for the changes we know we deserve.

Secondly, at the age of 70 (how old she is now) she has signed a book deal where she will publish three books and on January 7, 2014, her first published book will be hitting book shelves.

She said that this is the most accomplished she’s ever felt in her entire life, as well as the most proud of herself she’s ever felt.

Now, keep in mind, this book is partially a memoir about herself tied with a mystery story.

It was her way of using her hard life experiences and turning it into something for other people to read, learn from, and enjoy.

Writing this book, along with quilting that she also does, gave her a chance to reflect back on the hard things she endured as a child and both as an adult and it helped her turn those negative experiences into something she learned from; into something that healed her and into something that inspired her.

This woman is hope.

She is living proof that hope exists.

Lesson 2: She is living proof, that regardless of the fight each of us is fighting, wether it be an eating disorder or any other fight that life has told us we need to become warriors for, she is proof that it is possible to not only use our suffering and pain as a way to grow, but proof that it is possible to find self acceptance and happiness at the end of it all.

Above all, she was a fighter turned conquerer. 

I left her house, the house that I once sat in every Wednesday afternoon and quilted dresses for my dolls, leaving truly inspired.

One day, I will be a conquerer too.

Hello life.

Day 284: Sorry Ed, I’m Cutting Myself Some Slack

Happy Friday fighters,

After waking up at 7 a.m. to answer a bunch of e-mails and work on my two stories that I submitted to my editor today, I had planned to get up and go running.

…planned is the keyword, because I guess my body didn’t want to do that today because it kept falling back asleep.

Finally, when I did manage to wake up, I just knew that I couldn’t go today. It was the typical daily battle of Ed v. Shira.

If you remember, on Monday, I wrote about how hectic and stressful of a day I had.

I could not see how I would make it to today.

Not only did I make it to today, but I made it with flying colors.

Two completed news stories later, many blog e-mails later and many tutoring and class sessions later, I sit here feeling accomplished.

So in honor of that, when I finished my work today, I literally told Ed:

“Ok Ed, my dear friendemy, I am plopping myself down right here on this bed and I am watching Law and Order until I have to get up and leave for work.”

And that I did.

It was not an easy task to do with Ed reminding me every time I ate something that I didn’t workout today.

But seriously Ed, cut me some slack.

Actually, maybe it isn’t Ed who needs to cut me some slack.

Maybe it’s me who needs to cut me some slack.

So I didn’t workout today. Big deal. I will live on. And unfortunately, so will Ed.

So I ended up eating chocolate peanut butter ice cream last night with my sister after I very seriously told myself I won’t even eat one single piece of Halloween candy.

So what, Ed? So what?

I feel like I need to take a moment and give myself some credit today because up until now, I’ve let Ed tell me to feel terrible about myself today because I didn’t work out and I still ate what I wanted.

But you know what? I worked hard this week. I was productive this week. I enjoyed ice cream last night. And I sat down in bed and watched Law and Order for two straight hours. Good job me. I deserved to do that today.

I mean…don’t we all deserve to cut ourselves a little bit of slack every now and then? Even if Ed says the answer is no, I’m doing it anyway.

Hello life.