Month of Mindfulness Day 28: Chance

Happy Monday everyone,

Today I was really productive. And I don’t mean productive with work, but productive with settling in my new life here.

I started the process of changing my California license plate to a Washington one, I found  a place to get oil changes (and got on) and even saw that I am part of this team challenge thing going on at my gym.

You’re probably wondering why this is important: so let me explain.

Right now, in my totally completely new life, as you all know, things are hard. Every part of my being as a whole is suffering except for my career. My heart is hurting for my family and my body is hurting for their hugs.

I don’t mean to say I haven’t had great times here because I really have (hence yesterday and a few other times) and I don’t mean to say I haven’t made friends here because I have, really amazing ones too.

But no matter how many new great things come our way, it takes time for us to heal from the old things that once brought us comfort-for me, its my family, friends, old favorite hiking trails, or old favorite restaurants and so many small things that I only realized once I didn’t have anymore.

So to spend a day like today doing things to make my new life more stable and productive here is a big deal. Changing my license plate, doing things for my car, being part of something at my gym that’s a team effort for the entire summer–it shows I am committing myself here.

The same mentality can be applied to those of us in recovery or especially starting recovery.

When we first start recovery or when recovery is hard, it’s so easy to just throw our hands up and go back to old ways.

It’s so hard to continue to go to our nutritionists, therapists and treatment centers.

But we go-we go even though in that moment every single part of it sucks.

We go anyways. And we go because doing those things are setting up our future-our future for freedom from Ed.

By me going and setting up these more permanent things here, I am fighting every urge in me to give up hope. I pushed on today . I used my telescope vision.

It wasn’t easy. But it was a step in giving this new place and new life here another chance.

So today’s word is chance: how all of us fighters continue to give recovery and life after hardship a chance is something only we will understand.

Giving anything a chance after it has let you down is scary and challenging and unknown.

Recovery sometimes lets us down when it’s not what we think it will be or if it doesn’t pan out how we thought, and  Washington has kind of let me down too. Yet I have decided to give it another chance.

Just how we continue on with recovery even when we don’t understand how we can ever live life without Ed, I will continue trying to find the factors and building blocks that will make my experience whole here.

For all of us who didn’t give up today and  for all of us who did give up yet are ready to give it another chance again tomorrow, hello life.


One thought on “Month of Mindfulness Day 28: Chance

  1. Good for you! I love how you push and challenge yourself to find ways to fix things that not just don’t work for you but I guess better things even if tey are working. 🙂

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