Month of Mindfulness Day 10: Re-Walking Old Steps

Happy Friday-Eve guys,

Today, for the first time since I started this mindful journey, I ate something that I didn’t know the calories in it and I ate a dinner that I haven’t had in a while.

Actually-this is the second timeI did this. Last Sunday I had pizza with my friends and I didn’t know those calories facts either (well kind of but not exactly)-but this was different because I actually forced myself to do it.

I forced myself to break my habitual meals that I was starting to have everyday.

Breaking habits or food rules was one of the first big things I had to learn to do in recovery.

It was hard then and it’s hard now to keep doing. But I force myself to keep doing it so I continue to move forward and not get stuck in that rigid mindset again-or at least move forward in the best way I can.

For today, moving forward meant deviating from the typical dinner I’ve been having into something different and not as “known” to me.

What I am writing about today isn’t about the food-it’s about the fact that we always seem to go through lessons in life more than once. Or we go through the same experiences more than once.

I thought I already got past my “breaking food rules” and “rigid habits” phase in recovery. And for a while I did. And now here I am learning how to break those rules again.

It’s funny how life is a cycle like that and in a way, while at some points in my day today I was frustrated that I am re-walking steps I’ve already walked before, I am grateful.

I am grateful because this gives me a chance to walk these steps again with double the wisdom, double the tools and double the knowledge I had when I first walked them.

I always used to think that recovery had stages, and once those stages were done, they were done for good.

But life is not like that-it simply doesn’t just have stages that occur and then never pop up again-so why should recovery be?

I feel like I am going through steps in recovery that I went through at my very start all over again. But instead of looking at it as a step back, I look at it as a step forward.

I walk this stage of breaking rules again not as scared as I was before. And I trust myself more than I did before. And that’s a good feeling to have.

Maybe re-walking lessons and stages in life and in recovery is how things are meant to be.

Really, I don’t care if I re-walk the same stages or steps a hundred times as long as each time I come back stronger and more at peace with myself than the time before. And right now I am exactly that.

Hello life.

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2 thoughts on “Month of Mindfulness Day 10: Re-Walking Old Steps

  1. Good for you love! All life lessons are repeated and repeated and repeated again until we really learn them inside out. It’s the ebb and flow if life. Good to see you go with the flow 🙋

  2. Glad to see you moving forward. Yes life does move in circles and we pass certain points many times. My motto is pick yourself up and do it again. And that’s what your doing. Good for you.to looking forward❤️

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