Day 361: The Small Victories That Still Count

Happy Friday everyone,

So I ate a hamburger for lunch today. With fries and with ketchup.

I was full all day after it.

I didn’t work out today because I wanted to get my hair done instead before I left to come visit my mom in San Diego.

I didn’t measure the dressing on my salad tonight at dinner.

I didn’t blot the oil off my pizza that I had at dinner either. I didn’t even take off the pepperoni.

I ate pizza even after I ate a hamburger for lunch. A hamburger that I ate because my family I was with wanted to go to this restaurant, and I didn’t want Ed to get in the way of that.

And until Ed set in later, I will say that the hamburger was pretty good. My pizza was good. My dressing was good.

However, Ed is not good and he’s not letting me off the hook easily tonight.

But I can tolerate Ed because I am proud of my small victories today.

It’s not about the food, it’s about not letting Ed dominate and control my life and I didn’t let him tell me to choose food that only he approved of.

I chose food everyone around me wanted.

Making that choice might be small but it counts.

Eating ketchup still counts.

Not dabbing the oil off my pizza still counts.

Not changing restaurants from what my family wants to something Ed wants still counts.

Even though I only have 4 days left of this one year journey, these small challenges are not that much easier .

But at the same token, they are also not less accounted for just because it’s almost been a year that I’ve been in recovery.

These small victories still count, even though part of me feels like I should be at the place where these challenges should be normalcies.

Where ketchup should be normal; where a hamburger and unmeasured dressing should be normal.

But they’re not normal yet and that’s ok because as long as I can still celebrate them I am still winning.

Today I celebrate my challenges that turned into victories.

I celebrate the small victories that still count.

We don’t get to pick when our challenges become things that are no longer hard for us.

But we can pick to celebrate being a victor of those challenges while they continue to choose to present themselves.

As long as my challenges are still here, I will celebrate my victories from them.

And as long as I can do that, I know I’ll be ok. Maybe even better than ok.

Hello life.

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10 thoughts on “Day 361: The Small Victories That Still Count

  1. A victory is a victory no matter how small! And in fact, those don’t seem to small to me:) Great job, you should feel celebratory! (So sorry for the delay on my email, just sent it) ❤

  2. WELL DONE!!! I’m so proud of you, Shira. I feel a little sad that the year’s gonna be up soon, but you know what, I’m just going to keep re-reading your older entries… You’ve come such a long way. You’re a true warrior and so very brave!

    • Thank you Jade! I am very sad too 😦 I feel like I’ll be losing a part of myself , but I know we fight together in spirit. Your words and support have meant so much to me during my journey and I can’t thank you enough. ❤️❤️

  3. I am proud of your victories! They aren’t small by far. You have come so far and we can’t determine when or how ed will effect our thoughts. He creeps up she. We least expect him too and by using our strength we can shut him out. Recovery waxes and wanes. Your strength and perseverance inspires us all. I know it inspires me. I take a lot of what you say aNd apply it to my day. Such as, I’m giving up my jeans. I am going to donate them because I know they hold me back. This is something I got from you. You’re truly amazing….

    • This comment was so beautiful , thank you so much! I agree that we never know when our challenges face us, all we can do is take it day by day. Yay for donating your jeans !!!! It was one of the most difficult but freeing experiences and I can’t wait to hear about yours ❤️❤️❤️thank u so much for being a part of this journey

      • You have such a beautiful soul. I feel honored to have been able to read your blog. I’m so inspired by you and all you’ve done. It’s bitter sweet as I know how amazing that Tuesday is almost here and all that signifies in this ongoing journey, I am sad I to not read your inspiring words everyday.

        Is it too late to order a “hello life”, band?

      • Thank you Ja’net! I feel honored that you’ve been a part of this journey and a part of the other fighters journey now too =) Tuesday is very bitter sweet for me too, but like always, day by day, we will figure it out <333 Thank you so much for your beautiful words of kindness and love ❤

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