I let someone else pour milk into my coffee today without me measuring it.
I ate a piece of the special black and white cookie today that my grandma bought me yesterday.
I even had a job interview today that I think went really well.
But that’s not why today was a good day.
Today was a good day because I was inspired, lifted and filled with complete joy.
This joy did not come from Ed and it did not come from my own personal recovery.
It came from the recovery paths of others who have been walking this journey with me.
As you know, there is a Hello Life fighter support group online. Over the past few weeks, these fighters and I have grown to become friends, supporters and safe people to lean on for one another.
Over the past few days, they have blown me away.
And today, it was just the icing on the cake. Totally no pun intended .But I do love cake and I do love icing and I do love these strong women, so I think it’s ok to say that.
We have one fighter who is eating a lunch tomorrow with her co workers. A prepared lunch that she did not make; a social lunch. She is a recovery hero.
We have one fighter whose new years resolution included being more kind to herself. She is a recovery hero.
We have one fighter who is the spiritual guide for this entire online support group. She is a recovery hero.
We have a fighter who just joined our group and sat at a table with her children while they ate food. She is a recovery hero.
We have one fighter who is letting her mom move in with her in order to help her stay on track with her recovery. She is a recovery hero.
We have a fighter who despite not feeling well and being in physical pain, stays full of light, hope and optimism and continues to not let Ed be her escape. She is a recovery hero.
We have one fighter who ate a Hershey Supreme with her family this past month. She is a recovery hero.
We have a fighter who cooked her husbands favorite meal for his birthday this year. She is a recovery hero.
We have a fighter in France who continues to push through her hardest days. She is a recovery hero.
We have a fighter who reached out when she was having a hard day. She is a recovery hero.
And lastly, we have one fighter, who right now, has friends over her house where she put out a chocolate cake, cheeses, crackers and pepperoni and veggies with dip.She even posted a picture of this on our support group wall.
She is being present tonight. She is not letting Ed have her disinvite her friends over tonight because food will be there. She is a recovery hero. And seeing those pictures almost made me cry.
They symbolized freedom. They symbolized her taking her life back from Ed.
And this post is in honor of her, in honor of the recovery heroes both in the support group and outside of it who email or comment or read this blog every day, and who are all around the world. I wish I could list everyone but it would be hundreds of people.
If this year has taught me one thing about others, it’s that nothing in the world, even our relationships with our own eating disorders, are stronger than the support and understanding that we can have for each other as people.
Today, these heroes are my inspiration.
They will be my inspiration when I go out to dinner right now.
They will carry on into being my inspiration far past when this blog is over in 6 days.
In honor of my recovery heroes, hello life.