I woke up this morning scrolling through Pinterest when I saw this quote.
“We are what we repeatedly do.”
After writing my post yesterday about me thinking that I am not where I wanted to be by this time in my journey to recovery, this quote really stuck out to me.
It made me think about what kinds of actions I do on a daily basis which make me who I am.
After going through those daily actions in my head, I changed my mind about what I wrote yesterday about not being where I want to be right now.
I actually am exactly where I want to be at this point in my journey. And let me tell you why.
If I had to list the things that I repeatedly do every single day and therefore make up who I am, or at least the things that I’ve been doing every single day for this past year since I started recovery, here they are:
I am kind to people, to strangers and to those around me.
I am a sister; a caring, compassionate, selfless and loving sister.
I am a daughter, a grand daughter, cousin, and niece.
I am a best friend.
I help others from the deepest place within my heart because I want to feel their joy with mine.
I am a writer.
I am a reporter.
I read poems to the little girl I tutor off the clock.
I am open about my journey to recovery.
I take care of my body and it’s needs.
I nourish myself.
I proudly wear leggings on most of the days that Ed tells me to wear my now too tight jeans.
I share desserts with my friends and with my loved ones.
I take my brothers to the bakery to get their favorite black and white cookie on a random Monday night.
I cook dinner for myself and for others.
I order chocolate chip pancakes at breakfast sometimes.
I might look in the mirror every morning at how my body looks, but I know my worth is based on what is within.
I practice being mindful.
I practice telling myself I am worthy.
I am kind to myself when Ed is not.
And on the days that I cannot be kind, I am understanding and accepting of what is.
But most of all, every single day for the past year, if I have done one thing repeatedly, it’s that I speak my truth.
My truths may not have all the answers, but they are more than enough to show me that I am indeed where I want to be right now.
I do truth. Every single day, I do truth.
And therefore, I am truth.
I am my own truth; a truth that Ed or anyone or anything else can never take away from me.
This one year journey of giving up my scale meant giving up my old truth. My old truth was only one thing: that number.
My new truth doesn’t have a definition, a number, or a size and it doesn’t have answers.
All it has is me. And for today, that’s exactly where I need to be.