I used to imagine how I would write today’s post.
I remember it so clearly.
I was in the beginning stages of writing this blog, and I remember thinking to myself how incredible it would be to write a post about how I graduated college actually being in recovery from my eating disorder; how wonderful it would be to graduate college and not have a number on the scale to ruin my day.
I can’t believe that that post has actually come and that I am actually writing it.
Today, I officially completed my last day of college. I am officially a college graduate.
I mean, I can’t believe I made it to this day while being in recovery.
I had dinner tonight with my best friend and another friend, and we had to end it with Linda.
Lifers, please meet Linda.
She is my chocolate fudge cake at my favorite restaurant (the cake is called Linda’s Fudge Cake) that everyone in my life knows I need to order and have.
Ed and Linda are not friends. There were times where Ed made Linda and I lose connection.
But, through my recovery, Linda and I have rekindled our spark.
So there are a few things to celebrate today:
I graduated college AND I got to celebrate with my best friend and with Linda. Perfection pretty much.
I thought I had made it through the day without crying, which is what I usually do on any kind of occasion that has some kind of emotion, until I got to my car after dinner.
I had posted a Facebook status about graduating, and one of my family friends wrote “Great job sunshine. Your grandpa would have been very proud.”
Some readers who have been with me since the beginning and who have read my earlier posts about my grandfather, know that he was my heart, my love and my rock and now that he has is no longer physically here, he is my angel.
I tried to not think of him today, because I knew it would make me cry that he’s not here to celebrate with me.
But I also know that my family friend was right; he would have been so proud.
He would have been proud that his first two granddaughters (I have a twin sister who graduated today too) graduated university.
He would have been proud that I shared it with my friends and family.
And he would most definitely had been proud that I shared it with Linda.
On days like today, the power that Ed once had over me is somewhere far away.
Even though he’s here giving me a hard time about Linda, I don’t care.
I finished college while being in recovery today, which means no number on a scale or no calorie count can take away from that accomplishment.
I finished college being able to say that I wrote the best cover stories I ever wrote.
I finished college today and made my grandpa proud.
Actually, I finished college today and made myself proud—and it has nothing to do with what I look like, what I weigh or what I ate.
I am proud.
No Ed excuses around it.
Oh, and I can’t forget to say that I am proud that Linda and I had a date tonight.
Lastly, I am grateful that I am able to celebrate today with all of the beautiful souls who are part of this journey.
Thank you for letting me share this milestone with you guys and thank you for being with me, supporting me and encouraging me along the way.
Oh my God….I am a college graduate.