Happy almost Friday everyone,
Thank you to everyone who commented and emailed with so much incredible support after yesterday’s post. I know I say that a lot, but I just am always so swept away with gratitude every time so much support comes in.
We truly have built a community of love, acceptance and support on this blog and I am so grateful or everyone who is a part of it.
I am happy to report that today was a much better day, just like you guys said it would be.
Those feelings and that invisible “kick me I have no self-discipline” sign is no longer around my neck.
So I got to speak with my 3 little brothers on the phone tonight. As I was talking to the middle one who is 8, he asked me what my next step is in becoming a writer. (He really did use those words too).
“I don’t know, I am applying for newspaper jobs, no one wants me yet,” I told him.
“Shira, hello life is your job, why do you need a new job? Don’t worry, I’ll tell everyone in my class to read it. We will be the six musketeers,” he said.
(In total, I am the eldest of 6 brothers and sisters).
He was so cute when he said that and it just brought the biggest smile to my face. I am not sure which part I loved more; the fact that he thinks Hello Life is my job, or the fact he referred to our siblings as the 6 musketeers.
I think I like the 6 musketeers the best. 6-not 7-no space for Ed, I like that.
So when I told him he is the smartest boy I know and that I want to switch brains with him for a day, he immediately said yes.
At first, I was kind of surprised. He was actually into this idea.
Why would anyone want my brain, I thought to myself? While it’s filled with creativity and deep thoughts, it’s also filled with so many internal battles, fights and self judgement.
“If I had your brain, then tomorrow in school when my teacher asks me a hard question about long division, I know I will get it right because you’re smart,” he said.
That right there was a hello life moment.
He’s 8, he doesn’t know the kinds of things my brain thinks about; he doesn’t know the lies Ed has filled it with. And he doesn’t care what I looked like today, or what I ate today, or any of that stuff.
He cared that I was smart, and he wanted that.
He also gave me permission to use his jokes since I will be borrowing his brain for the day, and he is the absolute king of jokes. It made me think about how amazing would it be to really do that trade?
I would get to have a brain where jokes matter; a brain where the only thing that matters is getting the answer right in front of your friends in your class when the teacher asks a hard question; a brain where it values it’s life because it’s smart or funny, not because of how much it ate that day.
The fact that he wanted my brain, regardless of the lies Ed is telling me about myself because of how I look lately, shows me the truth that Ed doesn’t want me to see; that I am still valuable regardless if I’m not the skinny person he wants me to be.
Recovery starts in the brain, in the heart and in our soul. It has nothing to do with our bodies.
Thank you to the 8 year old little man who shined a light on that for me today.