A day that started out totally consumed by Ed, is now ending totally not consumed by him, and I will walk you through how this happened.
Now, at the beginning of the day, I was telling E how I had some extra time today because my class was canceled and so was my tutoring, and that instead of enjoying it, I wanted to spend it at the gym.
I was almost in desperate need of being inside the gym, like I was thirsting for it.
I did go to the gym, but only for 20 minutes, and then after I hit that 20 minute mark, my body was just done. And I am still done.
Done enough that I don’t even think I will go tomorrow, even though Thanksgiving is on Thursday.
Ed, my body and I are done and we need a break.
And today we took that break. Instead of living inside the gym today, or living inside my room looking over and over again at the pictures I took of myself in the mirror this morning (which are now deleted), I decided to go to a movie with my grandma.
The movie actually ended up being kind of sad, as there was a lot about death centered around it, but it also made me think of the own death I’ve seen in my life–and I’ve only truly seen and felt one death that touched my life directly, and that was my grandpa (I’ve written about him before).
When you think about losing people you love, stupid pictures of the way your body looked this morning after eating a little extra the past few days is just not as important.
You know what is important to me now?
The fact that I spent time with my grandma today; that quality time together is important.
You know what’s important now?
The amazingness in her and I going to dinner after the movie to one of my favorite restaurants and ordering cocktails.
COCKTAILS WITH MY GRANDMA, GUYS. Let me repeat: Cocktails-with-my-grandma. Is she cool or what?
I mean, how awesome and rare is that? And how incredible is it that it actually happened?
I used to only see my grandma on Thursdays, at one particular restaurant, where I only got exactly one kind of salad–no dressing, no nothing on it. Just plain, boring, and Ed driven.
Here we were, on a Monday, seeing a movie together and eating at my favorite restaurant with cocktails.
Ed can kiss my cocktail and amazing dinner from The Cheesecake Factory’s behind, because they were far more important than him, and his pictures from this morning, and his deep desire to stay at the gym all day.
Welcome to recovery, Ed–the land of cocktails and restaurant dinners on a Monday—we’re here to stay.