I don’t know what brought this on, but I really was able to appreciate the small gifts of recovery today .
And it’s nothing big or major like “I’m so happy I finally accept my new healthy body,” (because we are far from that point), but they’re more of these small moments of joy and simplicity that I know I would never have even noticed before I started recovery.
Before I started recovery, I still tutored. However, I would always mentally prepare myself for how I would get through the session with refusing food from the parents/nannies who would love to feed me.
Today, I enjoyed two amazing chocolates one of the nannies gave me. It was small, but so liberating; so yummy; so me and not Ed.
Last year, I only let myself have a chocolate one time at this girl’s house and it was on my birthday. So to enjoy those two chocolates today was really empowering and the fact that I could realize that is a beautiful thing to me that speaks volumes about my recovery.
I also used half and half in my tea today because Starbucks didn’t have milk out. Before, I would have gone up to the counter and ask for some other alternative, but today, I used the half and half.
Half and half! Cream! Deliciousness—all for me. And none for Ed.
Today, I found one of the nicest girls at school who let me interview her for a story I am writing. After 20 students walking away from me, finding her was more than just a little thing, it was a major gift.
Today, I didn’t even get to do cardio, yet I ate my chocolates anyway.
Today taught me that it’s truly the little things in life that sometimes force us to step back and realize how far we’ve come.
It’s the two little chocolates during a tutoring session.
It’s the half and half in a cup of tea.
It’s the nice girl who offered to take her time to interview me.
These moments make up freedom.
You know who else was a little thing today? Ed.
Yup, Ed was a tiny, little, minuscule thing today.
To all the little things that make recovery worth fighting for…hello to you all and hello life.