Happy Friday everyone,
I apologize for writing such a late post today, I just have been so busy and only got home now.
So despite all my negative feelings about the way I look, today was a big stomp on Ed day, and let me run you through why.
There were three particular moments where I stomped on Ed today.
Moment number 1: I went to lunch with a friend. And my friend wasn’t Ed.
It was a my friend Anna. We had lunch together and then we went to a bakery and shared a piece of cake afterwards with some coffee.
Moment number 2: I ate cake…as a dessert…after lunch.
This is pretty much a self-explanatory moment and one of my most favorite moments of the day because I love cake.
And the best part about this moment is that when I tasted the cake and saw that it actually wasn’t that I good, my friend and I went to a liquor store nearby and picked up a chocolate bar to make up for it.
Moment number 3: I was at a basketball game with my grandma, cousin and sister, when it came time to get food. For years now, I have either brought my own “Ed food” to the basketball game, or I haven’t gotten anything to eat all.
My sister always gets pizza from California Pizza Kitchen at the basketball games and sometimes, just sometimes, I used to let myself eat a bite of her crust that she didn’t want.
Today, I shared a pizza with my grandma and had some other snacks.
I had an entire two pieces of pizza to myself. This was the first time, in years, that I can remember eating the same food as everyone else at a basketball game.
While I have learned that recovery is about far more than just food, today, food was a big part of it. It was a big part of it because it gave me a social life.
Lunch with a friend was part of being social.
Eating cake together was part of being social.
Eating pizza with everyone else at the basketball game, that wasn’t only social, but that was feeling like I was just like everyone else; it was comforting.
Are these moments scary? Yes. Oh, yes they are.
Am I loving how my body feels right now? Nope. Not at all.
But, I had three moments of recovery today.
Three moments of freedom. Three moments of Shira in charge, not Ed.
Three moments towards the rest of my new life in recovery.
I mean…cake, candy and pizza in one day? Is this real life?
I guess in recovery it is.