What do I have to say today?Truthfully, I don’t really know.
I could sit and think of some inspiring quote I found online or something of that sort and relate it to recovery in some kind of way, but this blog is a daily journal of my daily life in recovery so if I did that just in hopes of writing an inspirational post, it wouldn’t be authentic.
So in light of that, here’s today’s boring and uneventful yet authentic post.
I honestly felt huge today. I really did and for various reasons.
I haven’t been eating that healthy and I haven’t work out as much lately, so this isn’t a surprise to me. I think even people who don’ t have eating disorders have days like this.
And, for the past two days, I’ve been hungry all the time. And I mean, all of the time.
But instead of being mad about that, as at one time I would have been, (I actually remember a time in the beginning of recovery where I was mad at myself for eating 5 extra almonds because I was extra hungry) I’ve learned to kind of laugh at it and to just go with the flow.
Over time, I am slowly learning to trust my body.
So, if it’ s hungry, it’s hungry.
If it wants to eat two snacks instead of one, which it did both yesterday and today, I will have to let it do so.
And if it wants to eat ice cream for dessert every night (a reoccurring theme for the past three days) then I guess I am going to let it do that too.
At first when I woke up this morning feeling huge, I told myself that I am not eating any sweets today or any ice cream.
But that didn’t last for long because I love chocolate, and now that I am writing this, I really want that ice cream again.
And we have two really amazing flavors in the freezer too (thank you to my sister).
So…knowing myself and my sweet tooth, I already know I am going to end up eating it.
And while my day is still uneventful and maybe hasn’t led me to writing the most inspiring of posts, it did leave me with two things to be grateful for: I felt huge today, yet I continued on with my day and ate what my body asked for anyway, and I am giving myself permission to eat ice cream for the 4th night in a row.
Hello dear ice cream and hello life.