I woke up early today to my neighbors doing some kind of construction in the morning, making it impossible for me to sleep in or to study, so despite my body still feeling sore and uncomfortable, I got out of bed and decided to go to the library.
…Only to wait an hour and a half for it to open and then see a lady post a sign on the door that said the library is closed for the holiday weekend today.
We all have these kinds of days, right?
The days where everything around you seems to be going against the current that you’re trying to travel by.
But instead of being discouraged, I decided to go and walk around in the bookstore nearby.
I used to love books as a kid. I was the 10 year old who asked for books for my holiday presents; they were a way into someone else’s world.
Today, as I was walking around in the book store,I was just overtaken by this feeling of joy.
I got to see so many different books about so many different things .
I saw one about tattoos and their hidden meanings, I saw one about all the front page covers of the Times Magazine and I even saw one on some of the world’s greatest motivational speakers.
It was a total escape out of my world.
It was an escape from my body soreness.
It was an escape from the things that went wrong that morning.
It was an escape from Ed and thinking about food and what to eat.
It was an escape from the stories I am writing or the homework I have to do.
It was this sense of joy that our world is truly filled with so many more stories than just our own. It was this realization that there is passion in things that don’t just have to do with food.
There were times where I would spend hours online just looking at recipes and saving them.
I would spend hours looking at cookbooks in book stores and never buy them.
When I was locked in my eating disorder, food was the only thing I had an interest in. It sounds ironic, but it’s true.
I would only read cooking magazines. Or if I was at the bookstore, I would sit at Starbucks and get a big huge stack of health and fitness magazines.
But today wasn’t like that.
Now that I think of it, I didn’t even go to the magazine section. I was so in awe of all the books about art, and dreams, and hidden meanings that I forgot those cookbooks and fitness magazines even existed.
I mean really, I can’t believe I forgot to go check those magazines out. It doesn’t even seem like me.
It’s a beautiful thing to be reminded of the other stories that exist; of the stories about art, people and history , that Ed just has nothing to do with.
Now that I write this post, I think that the library being closed today was a blessing in disguise.
Had it been open, I would have sat in there and studied all day.
But instead,I had the chance to venture around in a bookstore and be reminded of all the things that interest me and intrigue me that don’t have to do with Ed.
Life has a way of surprising us sometimes and the more I learn to accept what is, the more beauty I see in that.
I even had someone ask me today where she can buy a hello life bracelet, another beautiful surprise. Which if anyone does want one, they are totally free and please message through the contact me form and I would be happy to send one to you.
Hello to the small blessings in disguise that we sometimes don’t see until later.
Hello to being able to escape from Ed while in the bookstore.
Hello to still wearing leggings today (well, jeggings but it’s the same),
Hello to not even thinking about the food or fitness magazines.
And hello life.