Day 291: And So I Might Wear Leggings All Weekend

Happy Friday everyone,

Quick update on my delicious dinner last night: it was delicious. It was so yummy and it was truly a great time–absolutely free of Ed. It was truly a night of freedom and I am so deeply grateful for it. It is nights like last night that remind me of why recovery is so worth fighting for.

So moving on to today.

You all know the drill by now when I indulge in food or eat a little too much…my body gets sore and I get bloated. Usually this only happens to me after my Friday and Saturday night dinners with family and friends, but, this week I guess I started one day early.

Actually, I kind of started a few days early because I ate out at a restuarant on Tuesday night too. Let’s just say I had an early start to my weekend indulgence.

When I woke up today and felt the soreness and bloating, I had two options.

1. I could freak out over it, go to the gym instead of go to see E, and really really eat very safe today and be worried about my dinner tonight and all the food that would be surrounding me this weekend.

Or

2. I could just accept what is and enjoy my weekend with the food,bloating and soreness as best as I can. And one way to do that is to wear clothes that I know I will feel good in and clothes that will be forgiving.

So leggings it is.

I wore leggings today. I will wear them tomorrow. And I will probobly wear them on Sunday and maybe even Monday (thankfully I have multiple pairs).

They don’t have a size on them and they don’t have tight waistbands on them and therefore they can’t make me feel worse on days like today.

I’m not saying it’s been easy to live in the moment and to stay positive today when it is inevidable that I am sore and bloated and when I know I have many more encounters with food coming up, but it beats cuddling up with Ed.

So if wearing leggings for a few days is the worst thing I have to deal with this week in terms of Ed, then I can do that.

Hello to my stretchy, no size, comfy leggings and hello life.

leggings

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4 thoughts on “Day 291: And So I Might Wear Leggings All Weekend

  1. I don’t know, it seems like after all this time soreness and bloating wouldn’t happen. Are you eating something or drinking something different than your usual weekday foods? I’ve known I was lactose intolerant for years. I tried and tried but finally had to give it all up because of the guarranteed physical discomfort. It seems like your body might be reacting to something. I mean, when I am stressed from counseling, I feel overly full at every meal no matter how small it is, but that is different than bloating, and soreness doesn’t seem normal. It’s just my opinion but it’s been the better part of a year. I’m just concerned for your health. Setting the eating disorder aside, I had to go through many transitions with food until I figured out what worked best for me and than my body was finally “happy”. It’s just my head that isn’t, if you know what I mean.

    • I don’t think it’s normal either, but none of the eating disorder specialists can tell me what it is and it’s very frustrating to me. I was thinking of maybe getting tested for food allergies although this only happened once my eating disorder started so I am not sure if that makes sense? it makes eating unsafe foods really hard because I have to feel the physical discomfort afterwards. Thank you for your support and genuine concern <33

  2. This is beautiful. You rock those leggings girl, that’s what fall season is for! You chose to overcome the voice of ED and listen to your own. That is such a huge leap in recovery and I, for one, am so proud of you and so inspired by this.

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