Earlier today I posted a tweet that said, “Fighters, what made you smile today?” and it was accompanied by a picture that said “I hope you always find a reason to smile.”
I saw that picture and it made me think about one of the biggest lessons I keep learning in recovery, and that is to always try to embrace the small moments of freedom that we find, and sometimes just being able to say we smiled today is a huge moment of freedom in itself.
As I drove to school after tweeting that, I started thinking that I posted that question for others, yet I didn’t even answer it myself, and being that I am the one who posted it, I figured I should have an answer to my own question.
So I sat in my car driving and I sat in class for 3 hours and I kept trying to think of some big “recovery” moment that made me smile.
Did I smile when I did my body check this morning? (I thought maybe I smiled today because I was a little bit more accepting of what I saw today, but no, I didn’t smile at that).
Did I smile when I ate any of my meals? No…not today.
So I was feeling kind of like this “recovery failure” because there wasn’t some big a-ha recovery moment that made me jump for joy today.
Then I remembered that the minute I woke up today, I shared something on my Facebook page for my 10 year old brother, Edaan.
Edaan has started a website, (mind you, he’s only 10), where he is making bracelets and giving all of his proceeds to an organization that helps people who are fighting cancer.
It blew me away that such a young boy can have such a huge idea and go as far as to create an entire website for it, complete with a online store and about me page. I actually think his website is better set up than my blog.
I shared his website on my Facebook account and I remember as I was sharing it, that I was smiling because I felt so proud of him.
On that Facebook status I wrote, “Please show some love and support to this incredible young man as he tries to make a difference in the world.”
It made me smile that someone as young as he is, is trying to create change and trying to help others.
So then it hit me, that I don’t need some huge a-ha recovery moment in order to smile.
It is OK to smile at other things that don’t have to do with recovery, and it’s OK to not find “recovery” things to smile about everyday.
I really realized today that maybe along with celebrating the victories in recovery like eating unsafe foods or breaking some Ed rules, maybe recovery can also mean smiling about something that doesn’t have to do with food, or weight, or calories?
So, to answer my own tweet: what made me smile today was knowing that my 10 year old brother wants to help other people.
What made you smile today?
Hello to smiling about our a-ha recovery moments and our not so a-ha recovery moments, hello to finding the happiness in both of those situations, and…