Thank you all so much for the beautiful birthday wishes left via comments and email! I can’t tell you how much love and support they gave me and I am so grateful for them.
Moving on to today, I would be lying if I said that Ed was not here.
I wish I could say he wasn’t, because I had such a beautiful first birthday in recovery yesterday, but the truth is, that he is.
And he has been since I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt my body sore again.
And then he was there again when I got dressed and didn’t like the way I looked in the mirror. And he was there when I took a picture of myself with my phone right after that (which I deleted right away afterwards).
And lastly, he is here right now, asking me what people will think when they see me tonight.
Tonight, I am going out to celebrate my birthday with me and my sister’s closest friends, and some of them, I have not seen since I started recovery. Ed loves this because it just amps his voice up as if it was being projected through a megaphone.
But here’s the bottom line: This is my birthday, not Ed’s.
This is my first birthday in recovery, so Ed can seriously just find his way out the door, because my party is not stopping because of him.
On that note, I am going to get ready to have the greatest first birthday in recovery celebration ever.
I will only experience my first birthday in recovery once, so I am doing it right—so Ed, you can now leave, and the party can now continue.
Hello to keeping this party going with or without Ed and hello life.