Day 238: Alter Ego

Happy Monday everyone,

Ed woke up with me today, telling me his usual speech about my body.

Most times I can brush it off, but this morning, he just didn’t stop going on and on about it.

From the minute I woke up, I was instantly going through all the food I ate the entire weekend. I didn’t even have time to get out of bed to put my workout clothes on before I was already planning on how to not let it happen again next weekend.

Ugh, dumb, annoying, lying Ed. (New readers: Ed is what I refer to my eating disorder by; that’s his name; I treat him like his own being).

Anyway, ironically enough, today’s homework assignment for one of the girls I tutor was that she had to write a story where the main character was herself, but she had to change her name and she had to give herself one superpower.

Her class is reading the story of Mulan, a young girl who disguises herself as a man to go fight in the army. She transforms herself into looking like a young man and she trains herself to learn how to fight like the guys in the army do.

So I understood why she got this assignment.

Anyway, she is 8 years old, and she looks up to me, and I love her for doing so.

So, what did she want her new name to be in her story?

Yup, she wanted it to be Shira.

I tried to say no because I felt embarrassed for some reason,  but she insisted, so we went with it.

Being an eight year old girl, the superpower she chose for Shira was that she would be able to wake up everyday in the mall.

At first, I wasn’t sure if that was considered a superpower, but if flying is a superpower, than why can’t automatically waking up in a mall everyday be one too?

So she wrote her story about girl named Shira, who woke up everyday in her favorite store in the mall and that’s where she lived.

She owned the mall and everything inside of it.

She was the boss.

I loved this Shira.

She’s the Shira that would be the boss of Ed too.

It made me think about myself for a moment as having this alter ego that this eight year old literally just created for me.

Sure, she didn’t fly or become invisible, but she did something even better; she chose to live everyday in her favorite place where she ruled everything.

How awesome would it be if we all had an alter ego of ourselves, that whenever our addictions were talking to us, we could just switch modes into being them?

Maybe not forever or maybe not all the time, because I’d like to think that one day, the real Shira will be able to defeat Ed on her own, (as many days she has).

But on days like today, where Ed was so loud, the idea of an alter ego fascinated me.

I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what my name for my alter ego would be, and I’ve come up with nothing.

But I know that she would wear huge eight inch heels and she would crush Ed with them every single day.

If you had an alter ego, what would you name him/her? What would your superpower be?

For tonight, I am going to just sit here and imagine my alter ego, whatever her name will eventually be, crushing Ed with her big high heels, over and over and over again.

Hello to the high heels, superpowers and super strengths that our alter ego’s will kill our Ed’s with, and hello life.

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5 thoughts on “Day 238: Alter Ego

  1. What a delightful post! It reminded me of you the real Shira at 8 and the fun imaginative stories you wrote! She is very lucky to have you. And good for you for not telling her her wish for a super power wasn’t a super power. We have enough of those people in our lives already!
    If I had a super power I would make it that I could change negative mean things coming out of people’s mouths to be kind and loving and have them no matter how hard they tried could they say a mean or negative thing to anyone! Can you imagine how nice that would be and how funny it would be to watch the people lose their power to be hurtful with words. Makes me think of te movie Liar Liar when Jim Carey had to tell the truth even though he didnt want to… And at first it made him crazy and he couldn’t bare it, but eventually he began to come around and go with it am it changed his life in positive ways 🙂
    I don’t know what my super power name would be though…. That’s a toughy!

  2. My 5 year old loves super heros too. She says she wishes they were real.. so I told her we can kind of be super heros inside. As you are. I love visualization. Powerful. ♡
    Great stuff !
    My Ed doesn’t say mean things anymore.
    Keep going..I continue to stretch myself too.
    ♡L

    • I love that! You are in such an amazing place of recovery and I aspire to be there too someday. In the mean time, I think the idea of all of us being super heroes inside is an incredible idea. Super heroes are stronger than our Ed’s after all, or at least 99% of the time they are. I think the 5 year olds in us would say so =)

      • Love THAT! We can bring in the super heros AND the 5 year olds in us that still believe they are all powerful and real!! 🙂
        Your visualization was powerful.
        You are an inspiration. Don’t worry about those who don’t appreciate your writing. I have been turned away too..and yet so many are helped by my words..
        Someone told me that I write from the heart and those who are in their hearts will understand. Those that aren’t won’t. That has been so helpful. You write from your heart too. The world is changing fast.. You will be appreciated for your wisdom and heart.
        Love –
        Laurie

      • Love THAT! We can bring in the super heros AND the 5 year olds in us that still believe they are all powerful and real!! 🙂
        Your visualization was powerful.
        You are an inspiration. Don’t worry about those who don’t appreciate your writing. I have been turned away too..and yet so many are helped by my words..
        Someone told me that I write from the heart and those who are in their hearts will understand. Those that aren’t won’t. That has been so helpful. You write from your heart too. The world is changing fast.. You will be appreciated for your wisdom and heart.
        Love –
        Laurie

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