Day 237: It’s Time For Our Version Of Events

Hey everybody,

I’ve had this song on repeat today over and over, and once I explain some of the lyrics to you right now you will understand why.

There were two lines in this song that stood out to me. The first one was :

“If the truth has been forbidden then we’re breaking all the rules.”

This line can be the opening sentence to the story of my recovery, and the recovery of so many others who’ve I’ve spoken to, especially over the last few days since I’ve opened up my contact me form.

Throughout all of our journey’s, there is one thing that is consistent for all of us who are not only seeking recovery, but who are seeking to learn how to love who we really are, and that’s that we’ve all experienced living a life where our truth was once forbidden.

For me, personally, the entire time I was living in my eating disorder, the truth about almost anything other than my weight was forbidden.

The truth about how isolated I was becoming the thinner that I got, was a truth that was forbidden to think about.

The truth about the metal prison bars that felt like they were literally pressed up against my body at all times keeping me trapped inside myself with no where to turn was a truth that was forbidden to express to others.

The truth about my deteriorating health, when my heart beat would slow down at night, and when my hair would fall out in the shower, was one that was forbidden to say, even to my own doctors.

The truth of the matter was that I was stuck in a one way relationship with my eating disorder, where either he would win or I would win-there was no space for both of us to live on.

I followed that rule about my truths being forbidden for years, and now, just like the song said, it’s time to break the rules.

All those rules that our eating disorders told us-from avoiding our own truths about our lives, to who we could or could not see-to what we were allowed to think about at night-are now being broken when we choose to live in recovery.

I don’t think you have to have an eating disorder to know how hard it is to be brave enough to stare at your own truths.

But the rewarding part in doing that, is that once we look at the truths that our own “Ed’s ” have all been keeping us from, we can then create new ones, which leads me to the next line of the song.

“It’s about time we got some airplay of our version of events.”

Once we take back the truths that our addictions created for us and made us shy away from, we get to create new ones; we get to create our own “airplay of events,” like the song said.

To my warriors who are fighting for their recovery today, we deserve to create our own truths; our own version of our lives; our own version of what we are deserving of. We deserve to take those things back from our eating disorders.

If you had to choose one new truth to take back from something negative that once held power over you, what would it be?

What’s your new truth that you want to make for yourself today?

If you don’t want to write it here, I encourage you to say it out loud, or to say it to yourself in the mirror, or to say it to whoever you are taking your truth back from.

We have the capability to vanish these shadows that our eating disorders/addictions follow us around in all day-so why not fill them in on who is in power now?

Here’s my new truth today: Ed-I am 237 days into not weighing myself, and I love myself more today than I ever have, and you aren’t stopping me.

Ah, that felt good.

I have years of twisted truths to take back from Ed, but for today, this one is good enough.

Hello life.

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2 thoughts on “Day 237: It’s Time For Our Version Of Events

  1. That is a great question and I will really have to think about it because it is so worthy of attention. I will never forget the fear that filled me when I once picked u up in the middle of the night because your hand has turned blue! After tons of tests and 24 hours in the ER… Follow up neurological tests they never could say exactly what it was… But the truth was we both knew why it happened and we spoke of everything but that as it was forbidden to ever bring up your poor little body starving for nutrients and healthy blood flow. I’m so thankful those days are behind us!!! I’m so proud of you!

  2. I LOVE THAT , i love u , i love the truth and only the truth , because the best lie is the truth abba GUY MOSKOWITZ (818)2972927.

    >________________________________ > From: Hello Life: A Year Without A Scale >To: moskowitzguy@yahoo.com >Sent: Sunday, September 15, 2013 9:16 PM >Subject: [New post] Day 237: Its About Time We Got Some Airplay Of Our Version Of Events > > > > WordPress.com >shiramoskowitz818 posted: “Hey everybody, I’ve had this song on repeat today over and over, and once I explain some of the lyrics to you right now you will understand why. There were two lines in this song that stood out to me. The first one was : “If the truth has been fo” >

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