I was just listening to Joel Osteen right now, as I do every Sunday, and he reminded me of a saying I’ve heard many times before.
“Life is 10 percent what happens to you, and 90 percent your attitude on how you respond to it.”
I could go on for pages about this 90/10 rule and how many times in my life I’ve had to apply it to myself, but for today, it just made me think about my journey to recovery.
I didn’t choose to battle with an eating disorder.
I didn’t choose to become a prisoner inside my own body and mind trying to achieve this image of perfection that does not really exist.
I didn’t choose to be dealt Ed; no, that was life’s 10 percent.
But, I did choose to fight him.
I did choose to let go of my entire life with Ed; our familiarities with one another, our constant reliance on one another, and of our image of what perfection was supposed to look like.
This is my 90 percent right here and right now-my attitude towards this new life of recovery.
Sometimes I am bitter that other people don’t have to struggle like me, and sometimes I can be envious of others who don’t have to know what it’s like to have your life tainted by an eating disorder and all the mental imprisonment that comes with it.
But most of the time, 89 percent out of the 90, I am grateful for this journey.
I am grateful because it is through this eating disorder, that I found the strength within myself that I never knew I had.
And it is also the reason I am on my 230th day of life without a scale; life without a number to define me.
Joel is right; we can’t choose the 10 percent of challenges life gives us, but we can choose what we want our 90 percent to look like.
Today, I don’t care about the 10 percent challenges I’ve been handed.
I care that I can truly say, in terms of life being 90 percent how we respond to obstacles, I am not only responding with determination, but also with grace and appreciation.
Let Ed give me his best 10 percent if he likes, because my 90 percent and I will always win, because I am worth every ounce of happiness that comes with recovery.