I apologize for such a late blog post, but tonight, right as I was heading home around 7:30 p.m., my brother said he was coming over for dinner to eat with my sister, her boyfriend, and I.
Earlier today I had cancelled my tutoring session that was supposed to be at 7:30 p.m., because I knew if I went, I would have skipped dinner.
I took care of myself, and in return, I got the gift that tonight brought me, as you will later read in this post.
My brother Dean has been in Texas all summer and I haven’t seen him in months, so right away, when I heard he is coming over, I decided to throw together a last minute welcome home dinner for him.
My original plan for today was to eat super safe foods, since I have my three holiday dinners in a row starting tomorrow night.
But like always, as I’ve learned time and time again in recovery, plans change.
When I was at the market buying the food, I saw a cake at the bakery.
Ed told me not to get it, but I really wanted to. I wanted to write “welcome home Dean Bo” (my brother’s name) on it.
What is a welcome home dinner without a welcome home cake, right?
It’s great in Ed’s world-and very boring in my recovery world.
So, I got the cake.
I also got a full dinner-chicken, rice, bread, sweet potato, and wine.
I was going to get them food, and get me a salad, but that is so Ed-like, and I didn’t want that.
I wanted to be like them. I wanted to fit in; to eat what they eat.
Never ever ever, would this night have happened had I still been locked in my eating disorder.
There is no way.
But because I chose recovery, it did happen.
The four of us spent the night eating, laughing, talking, and just loving one another. Food bonds people; it brings people together.
I don’t remember the last time my brother and sister and I all sat down and had a meal together, just us.
I can still hear my brother and sister laughing downstairs right now as I write this, and my heart wants to go be with them.
Tonight was truly recovery at its finest, and to that, I say with gratitude and appreciation, hello life.