Day 206: A Little Boy Being Excited To Show Me How He Writes His Name On His Paper;That’s Happiness.

Hi everyone,

“Wow, I can’t believe I ate all that food yesterday.”

“How could I eat all that dessert last night?”

“Of course, I wake up feeling sore.”

“OK, extra hard working out for me today.”

Those were the thoughts that I had when I first woke up this morning.

Had I not needed to leave the house by a certain time to take my little brothers to school, I might have stood in the mirror and body checked over and over; but I wanted to be on time, so I didn’t do that.

As I was walking my youngest brother into his kindergarten classroom, he asked me to stay with him five extra minutes.

“Do you want to show me where you sit,?” I asked him.

He nodded and smiled and rushed over to his desk and showed me his pencil box that had his name written on it.

He was so excited to share this new part of his life with me.

I sat next to him as he wrote his name on his paper, all by himself; another big deal that he wanted to show me.

I don’t know what it was about those few minutes of sitting there with him in his classroom, but something inside me just didn’t want to leave, but I knew I had to.

So I kissed him and left.

From the minute I left his classroom, I felt like I was this light feather who had no more burdens on her. I don’t mean light as in weight, I mean light as in carefree and happy.

It was as if I had little wings attached on my shoulders that decided to pop out and flutter for me.

Since I left his classroom, I never thought about all the food I ate last night again; or working out too hard, or how I looked.

Something about sharing that moment with my youngest brother, was so powerful and touching, that it made Ed disappear from my world.

These moments, like sitting next to my brother on his third day of Kindergarten and him being so happy to show me his new seat and pencil box-these are the moments that make life worth smiling for.

Each tiny moment of happiness that I experience is slowly becoming my armor to protect myself and defend myself from Ed.

I hope everyone reading this blog today, was blessed enough to experience a tiny moment of happiness too.

If you did, what was it?

Feel free to share your moment or moments of happiness on this post-as I know it would bring me and others so much joy to get a glimpse of the kind of happiness that other people feel.

I used to think I could only get that happy, light as a feather feeling by seeing a really “good” number on the scale or by buying new clothes that were a size 0.

I used to think I could only achieve happiness through Ed; through losing just one more pound.

No, that wasn’t happiness.

This  little boy being excited to show me how he writes his name on his paper-that’s happiness.

And no eating disorder in the world can stop me from enjoying that experience with him.

Hello life.

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12 thoughts on “Day 206: A Little Boy Being Excited To Show Me How He Writes His Name On His Paper;That’s Happiness.

  1. Shira, I had two moments of happiness today, one of which was enjoying a perfect summer day. The air was cool, the sun shone brightly and a soft breeze kept everything in balance. It was lovely.
    My second moment of happiness ocurred while reading your wonderful blog and experiencing the closeness shared by you and your brother and the wonder of seeing the world through a five or six year old’s eyes. That was lovely too.

    • Hi Judy,

      I feel like I was with you on your summer day a few days ago. The fact that you said everything was balance and that the sun shone made me smile, I can only imagine how good it felt. It also makes me so happy that this post was able to bring your some joy, as your comment brought me! Thank you so much for sharing with me.

  2. My first moment of happiness occurred when I came home and Cailee shared what a great day she had a camp today and not only hearing, but also seeing her excitement, about how much she loved working with the kids this summer. My second moment occurred while I was reading your blog and had a smile on my face as I read that it was your little brother that brought you joy that you only used to believe that Ed could bring you, and how I hope you can remember that feeling and continue to show yourself that joy and happiness in the days and months to come. So uplifting! xo

    • I loved hearing that Cailee had a great day at camp! It is so awesome to know that someone who I love and care about had such a great day, and that brought me so much happiness to hear that. It also made me happy to know this post uplifted you and made you smile. Any time this blog can help someone else smile, it brings me joy. Thank you for sharing this with me, I love you!

  3. Shira, my happiness moment was when you took me out to dinner yesterday. We ate together and NOTHING stopped us from having fun. I could tell you told Ed to be quiet and to stop disturbing you. Yesterday was one of the best days I’ve ever had all because of you. Doesn’t matter where we go, as long as I’m with you I’m the happiest person on earth.

    • Dandan, your the greatest brother I could ever ask for. It made me so happy to read this and to know that you had as much fun with me as I did with you. You make me the happiest sister I could be . Thank you for your comment, I love you!

  4. My happiness was reading your blog and hearing about Hadrs first day of school ! It made me feel soo goood, almost as if I was there. Another moment of happiness was reading Edaans comment to you on here. That made me sooo happy and thankful to have you all in my life. Such amazing people that I am beyond lucky enough to call me brothers and sisters love you

    • I am so happy that you were able to live that moment with Hadar in school, I know he would have loved if you were there, and he knows your thinking and missing him when your not here. We’re thankful to have you too and knowing your my sister brings me happiness every day. I love you and thank you for sharing.

    • That is so awesome!!! I have never been waterskiiing, but it seems like it takes a lot of courage and bravery to go out and try it! It makes me so happy and is making me smile from ear to ear right now to know that you did something that you haven’t done in a long time that made you happy. You inspire me to do the same. Thank you so much for sharing your happiness.

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