Last night I was at Friday night dinner with my family, where I met a 15 year old boy named Orr. He was vising America from Israel, and yesterday was his birthday.
So I just assumed that he was like every other 15 year old kid-having fun, smiling and joking around.
We were singing happy birthday to Orr, when my uncle leaned over to me and said, “He might not be here next year… and we think we’re the ones with the problems.”
I didn’t get what he meant. “He has cancer, Shira.”
I remember that exact moment so vividly in my head, because the minute he told me he had cancer, I picked up my head from looking down at my cell phone, and I just watched this boy blow out his birthday candles.
I wonder what he wished for.
I remember looking over at him, and just seeing someone who was so in the moment.
I had no idea he was battling cancer. He was laughing and smiling and he was being so present, it was like his cancer was not even allowed to invade his space that night.
I am not saying that we should minimize our problems, because trust me, I know I still feel the same about my issues in my life and you all feel the burden of your daily problems too-and they totally suck-but, this helps put them in perspective.
I can’t get over how happy Orr looked last night when he saw his birthday cake.
It was like nothing else mattered to him in that moment.
Is that what it takes to have to be able to truly be happy with the small simple moments in life, like getting a birthday cake? The fear of losing our own life?
I hope not…but then, what does it take?
I have tried for months now to be happy living in the present moment, and many times I have been, but I never looked like Orr did yesterday.
He was lit up. He was angelic. He was on a cloud no one could reach.
There is nothing like knowing that someone 20 feet in front of you might lose their life any day now, to make you want to jump up and grab your life as fast as you can.
I’m grabbing my life, that is for sure.
Grabbing it back from Ed.
Grabbing it back from negativity and pain.
Grabbing it back from self doubt.
And I’m pulling it back to me.
Now that I’ve grabbed it, I need to hold on tight-because Ed will fight hard for it back.
I’m ready to hold on.