Day 161: Accepting What Is

Hello everyone,

I was watching a talk show today and there was a man on it who survived a terrorist attack that took place in a hotel a few years ago.

“I couldn’t jump out of the window because I was too high up, and I couldn’t go to the hotel lobby because that’s where the shooting was happening, so I decided I just need to stay where I am and accept what is.”

Accept what is.

Those words really resonated with me.

Today was the second time that I went to see my nutritionist and we didn’t discuss if I gained or lost weight.I really am curious to know,  since I felt so big this week in my body, despite the fact she said I should eat more this week, but I can’t know.

As Karen said today, I am damned if I do, damned if I don’t know.

Either way, Ed will win.

If I gained, he will tell me to try to lose. If I lost, he will say good job, keep going.

So, I choose to still not know.

Accept what is.

I don’t like the way my body looks today, but I love the way it feels. Very weird, right?

I feel physically strong, and I love that I can do things such as push-ups, and feel energized while doing it.

But on the same token, I don’t really like how this new healthier/toned body is looking on me right now.

I miss the “skinny” body I used to have.

Accept what is.

I am reminded to just step back, and accept what is today.

Accept my feelings about my body, and accept that I made the healthy choice to not know anything about my weight today.

At the same time, I accept that these feelings are temporary and they can and will change.

Perception is a funny thing when it comes to Ed and I.

One hour I could not like the way I look, and the next I could feel great.

The point is, it is what it is.

There are other things going on in my life right now, as you all know, in terms of relationships with friends, and even the hard lesson I learned 2 weeks ago about letting old doors stay closed, that reinforce this message to me today: accept what is.

Today just is.

It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is, and I am really OK with that.

It is peaceful to be accepting of what is.

For someone like me, who likes to control everything in my life, being able to give a little bit of that up and just accept things the way they are, is actually a big relief.

Today is. Tomorrow will be. And I, will progress along the way.

Hello life.

accept what is

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