I apologize in advanced for the lack of interest and/or insight this blog post will have today, I just really don’t have anything great to say right now.
I wrote yesterday, that I woke up feeling sick, and I am still feeling like this today.
After researching it for a bit and talking to my mom who is a nurse, we found out that a possible reason I don’t feel well is because I might have some kind of acid reflux or an ulcer; both nothing serious, but just uncomfortable.
For both of those conditions, it is recommended that you don’t eat certain foods like chocolate, coffee, spicy foods, fried foods or acidic foods like fruit; pretty much my whole diet on a daily basis.
The past two days is the first time I think I have actually forced myself to eat because I wanted to; because I wanted to stay on my meal plan and take care of myself, even though I didn’t feel good while doing it.
I didn’t want to eat-but not because of the calories in the food or because I was worried about weight, but because of how sick I felt after. This is a very different feeling towards food than I have had in the past with Ed, and it is weird for me.
But the point is, I did eat.
I could have used me not feeling good as a way to get out of eating, but I didn’t want to.
I actually wanted to give my body what it needed.
To nourish it and to take care of it.
Considering the fact, that at one point, I worked so hard to deprive my body of all its essential nutrients, I think me actually wanting to take care of it is pretty amazing.
I don’t know what to do about the foods that I should try to avoid, since I have never been in a place in recovery yet where I’ve had to do that.
Will it lead to me trying to control yet another aspect of food?
Or will it make me feel like I am doing what I need to do to take care of my body?
On Friday, one of my brothers asked me why some of my posts are more interesting than others.
So I told him that this is the story of my everyday life, and not everyday is inspiring or interesting.
Well, today is one of those days.
But, it’s the truth, so that will have to suffice.
I have no title for today’s post, because I don’t know what to call it.
I am confused on how I feel about not wanting to eat because I feel sick afterwards, versus actually wanting to eat because I truly enjoy taking care of my body.
That is pretty much where I stand.
I hope when I see Karen, my nutritionist, tomorrow, she can help me figure out some other options until I figure out what works for my body right now.
But until then, I will enjoy my Sunday with my family and be proud of myself that I actually want to take care of my body and nourish it.
And to that, I happily end this post by saying, “hello life. “