Good evening everyone,
So here is my day today in list format:
1. Woke up sore (again).
2. Ran errands with my grandma (despite feeling sore, I did go out, which is good).
3. Bought these brownie brittle bites at Costco, with the nutrition label saying that 6 pieces are X amount of calories (emitting the number of calories because neither I, nor others in recovery need to focus on it).
4. Ate 2 pieces of the brittle, thinking it wasn’t too many calories.
5. Found out that the label lied, and its X amount of calories for 1 piece, not 6 pieces.
6. Still ate dinner after that with my aunt and grandma, despite the fact that I was freaking out inside, and despite the fact I was already kind of full.
Lesson 1 learned: Soreness is uncomfortable-but, for the first time, I didn’t blame myself for it.
I didn’t go and say “Oh Shira, you’re sore because you overate.”
No, I just acknowledged that I felt it, figured it was something in the food, and moved on . I was kind to myself, and more than that, I still ate all the meals and snacks of the day. Victory for me, a loss for Ed. Ed was mentally still there, but I didn’t let him hinder my ability to stay true to my recovery.
Lesson 2 learned: A food label lied to me-or lets say, mislead me.
But I already ate it. I already enjoyed it, and good for me for doing so-and now it’s over. Can’t fix it, just move on from it.
However, I ate my food today overall pretty fast, and I want to try to be more mindful when I am eating and I will work on that.
Lesson 3: Shit happens. Life goes on.
Moving on from all this, and moving on from the fact that I am extremely full right now-because like always, it will pass.
I will make my Saturday night a good one-labels or no labels, full or not-Ed won’t ruin it for me.
Hello to my Saturday night and hello life.