Day 114: My Story

Good afternoon everyone ,

Yesterday was truly one incredible day .

Despite me not wanting to initially go, I did go to my award ceremony yesterday where I was honored for being in the very top percent of my class.

During the ceremony, the host opened with this line, “The most rewarding part about being a journalist is being able to tell someone else’s story and truth.”

This line really resonated with me, and not just because exposing the truth is what I aspire to do in my hopeful career as a journalist, but because it summed up exactly what I am going through right now.

Every single day that I wake up and dedicate myself and my life to my recovery, and everyday that I write this blog documenting that commitment, is me telling my story.

Yes, the host was right when she said it’s most rewarding to tell someone else’s story.

But to me, I don’t think I can truly tell and understand other people’s story until I tell and understand my own.

This blog, this journey of one year without a scale, this road of recovery and my fight to freedom from Ed are all chapters that are making up my story; the story of me and how I came into choosing to be the fighter that I am today.

Some days I don’t even know if the chapters align and if my pages are in the right order .

Some days I feel Ed tries to take the pen away from me so he can write this story instead of me .

But at the end of the day, I am the one writing my story and I’m the one telling it – my way.

I don’t know exactly how my story will go, but I do know that it will represent inner strength, commitment and self love.

Lastly, I do not know how long my story will be , but I know how it will end .

It will end with me living free of Ed and me loving myself for who I am. I know that it will end that way because I won’t stop writing until it gets to that point .

More than just telling my story to you all and even to myself, I am exposing my truths .

Nothing in the world, even Ed, can deny my truth .

For now, my truth is that I am on my way to being the strongest and most liberated person I know, and that I will fight for every ounce of it .

I love being able to share my story with so many beautiful people all around this world . You all are part of my story too and I thank you so much for that .

Above all, me telling my story and my truth everyday on this blog gives me the power to truthfully say “hello life.”

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5 thoughts on “Day 114: My Story

  1. Shira, You’re growinng, blooming, getting stronger and you’re already smart. That’s one heck of a road to recovery. keep up the good work!

  2. “It will end with me living free of Ed and me loving myself for who I am. I know that it will end that way because I won’t stop writing until it gets to that point .”

    Oh my goodness, you are so brave for even thinking that there could be an end of this someday. I feel so intwined with it all that I cannot imagine that, and worse, I am afraid to… even as a thought experiment.

    With you being a writer, have you ever thought of converting this into a Daily Thought book or something? The title is perfect and although the daily thoughts don’t have to be specifically your posts on here, they could be your thoughts about what you posted that day, how you faced the struggles and things within it that helped you get through that moment. I think something like that would be exceedingly helpful. Unfortunately most Daily Thought type books tend to be spiritually related and too general.

    Beyond people who have eating disorders, there are hundreds and thousands of people who struggle with scales and other forms of body measurements.

    • Hi Sasha,
      Thank you so much for this!! I haven’t thought about the book idea yet, but I do like that a lot. I think daily struggles of what we are going through, or even others like you say who do not have eating disorders, can be helpful to read about, because we all understand one another.

      I do believe there is an end to this if we keep doing what were doing and that is fighting for the free life we deserve. !

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