Good afternoon everyone,
I saw a quote yesterday,and it said:
“Until God opens the next door for you, praise him in the hallway.”
This struck me and I thought about it all day-even as I was doing my shopping for my new clothes.
Latley, I was been in a place where I feel I have been waiting around in different hallways waiting for new doors to open for me.
I was waiting for the door to a new internship I’ve been waiting to hear from open, I was waiting for the door to finally feel good in my clothes to open, and I was waiting for the door to meet new people and have them not judge me as a girl with an eating disorder to open.
By taking my blog off of Facebook, I feel I already have opened the door to meeting new people and to not letting them judge me based on this blog.
But what about the other two doors I’ve been waiting for? The one about my hopeful internship and the one about feeling good about my body and the way I feel in my clothes?
I do believe in God, and I do have faith in him even in the hallways, but I am not waiting for him anymore to open these doors for me-it’s time I walk through the hallways and begin to open my own doors.
Yesterday, by going shopping for new clothes so I can replace my old unhealthy clothes, was me opening a new door for myself.
I opened a new door to my recovery and I cracked open the door to beginning to accept my body for what it is right now.
I also need to start opening the door to new opportunities other than just waiting around for this internship. I have a few options that I am going to look into, but I’m ready to open my eyes to see what else is out there.
Being stuck in these hallways of the unknown is not always a bad thing or a bad place to be, and I actually sometimes enjoy the walk to the next door coming my way.
I don’t even think I want to open all these new doors at once; maybe I can take my time and open them one knob at a time.
But most importantly, I love the fact that I am the one doing the walking and I am the one opening the doors for myself. No more waiting for recovery, or even for life, to catch up to where I want to be.
Maybe I’m rushing ? Maybe I am playing with destiny or fate by trying to open new doors for myself?
But something inside of me is telling me I need to push myself right now, so I am going to listen to that.
The best part is, Ed is not hiding behind these new doors that I am about to open.
He’s sitting in a corner somewhere in the hallway, just watching me walk along, and I like it like that for now. I hope one day he will locked outside the whole damn building.
Hello to opening new doors for myself and hello life.