Good morning everyone,
I wake up this morning with the biggest smile on my face. What a huge milestone today is for me.
I am feeling so overwhelmed with self pride and happiness, and most importantly, I feel so proud.
Today marks the 100th day in a row that I have not weighed myself.
It marks the 100th day that I have lived in recovery.
100 days everyone, 100 whole entire days.
There were times where I didn’t think I could even go an hour without weighing myself.
There were months and years where I weighed myself not even once a day, but multiple times a day. That number ruled my every emotion, my every meal and my entire life.
I started this journey telling E that I would not weigh myself for one day.
That one day then turned into three days, and those three days turned into me handing her over my scale, and now, here I am 100 days later.
Today isn’t even about my scale or about Ed.
It’s about the fact that I made the decision 100 days ago to break free from the chains that were holding me in darkness;
I made the decision to fight for my freedom; and I told myself that I will do whatever it takes to win this fight.
And here I am 100 days later, winning, thriving, and succeeding more than I ever thought was possible.
Today is about me feeling proud that I made the decision to fight for the beautiful life that I knew was waiting for me without Ed, and the fact that I stuck to it and stayed committed to that decision, even through the hard days.
I don’t even care that I am not in love with my body at the moment and I don’t even care about weight today or food today-all I can think is “oh my God, Shira, you’ve gone 100 days without weighing yourself. You made a choice and you did it. 100 days baby, keep going.”
In these 100 days, I have experienced moments, hours, and even days of freedom, laughter, closeness and love.
I have experienced pain, sadness, anger and darkness. I have experienced what it is like to have to look past just the body in the mirror and to look deep within one’s soul.
And even those hard days were beautiful days because they were days of recovery, and that is a beautiful thing in itself.
But most importantly, I have experienced me learning to love myself, and I have experienced me not giving up on myself, and there is nothing more rewarding than that.
I will celebrate this major milestone today. I am not sure how, but I will.
I might even get myself a cake with candles on it that say 100. I am not sure why, but I feel like I am celebrating a birthday of some sort today. Almost like the re-birth of myself without Ed.
100 days everyone, 100 whole entire beautiful days of being scale free and of living in recovery. Wow. I don’t know what else to say-I am just so happy and proud today that I have made it to this point.
Hello to 100 days of me sticking to my decision to fight for the life that I know I deserve, and hello life.