Day 89: Changing Things Up

Good morning everyone,

Since the first day that I started this blog, I shared it with everyone that I knew. I emailed it, I put it out on Facebook, and I even put it out on Twitter, because I felt it may reach someone like me, who it could help.

But as I have been meeting new people, and reconnecting with old ones, I have feared that those who may have seen it on Facebook (the main place I meet new people or reconnect with old ones) would judge be by it.

For a long time, I thought that I was an eating disorder and that I was only a girl who was now in recovery for an eating disorder.

I wrote about me not wanting to let it define me and who I was quite a few times, but it has taken up until today for me to truly believe that.

Just because I write a daily blog about my one year without a scale, and because I write about my recovery, it does not mean this blog is who I am-and it does not mean I am only a person in recovery for an eating disorder.

Being in recovery is something in my life that I am going through as a person, and it is something that will shape me into the person I will become. I am not ashamed of it; I am actually proud of it.

But I feel that I would be doing a disservice to myself by continuing to put my blog on Facebook-the main place where I connect with new people or reconnect with old ones. It would be letting those new people judge me how I used to judge myself, that this eating disorder is all I am, and I don’t want that.

While there are many people who read it from there and have told me they have been inspired, I feel that for those who need or want to receive my message or what I am saying, it has been almost 90 days now, and they know where and how to find my blog.

This is a beautiful thing for me.

To realize and to truly feel that this eating disorder is not me, and it is something private and intimate with myself and now with all of my followers and readers-but that it isn’t something I want people reading and thinking that they now know me.

I owe it to myself to let people get to know the real Shira- no blogs, no eating disorders, no Ed-just me. And while all those things make up a lot of the lessons that are slowly shaping me into the person I am becoming, they are not me.

So, farewell to putting my blog on Facebook and hello to letting new people know me for simply me.

I can’t believe tomorrow will be 90 entire days-3 entire months- of me not weighing myself and of me being in recovery.

But more than that, I am excited that I actually want people to get to know me-I am excited that I actually want to open up to others and not hide being my Ed created wall.

So today, I change things up.

I no longer share my blog on Facebook.

I am ready to not hide behind my eating disorder, and I am ready to let new people in, and I can’t think of a better way to start my Saturday than to happily say, “hello life.”

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6 thoughts on “Day 89: Changing Things Up

  1. Everything about you is acceptable. Read Psalm 139. It tells you that G-d made your inward parts, he saw your unformed substance, and He wove you in your mother’s womb. Do you realize what that means? G-d Himself made you to be exactly the way you are because He wanted a Shira Moskowitz in this world. There is nothing about you that is a mistake. G-d does not make mistakes.

    So regardless of what you choose to reveal about yourself to others and what you choose to keep private, G-d knows it all. And He is the father who loves unconditionally.

  2. Good for you! Change it up a bit. Moving forward is always good. 😉 trying new things and different ways of doing things is exciting!

  3. Excellent. I share this blog only with those who follow me and my two friends overseas. Interestingly, few people outside my blog know what happens on the inside of me, or perhaps I ought to say no one does. It is so freeing to just open up and lay it all out in the open. There is so much love and support here it is amazing.

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