Good morning everyone,
I woke up unexpectedly this morning at 6 a.m,but instead of running to go back to sleep, I just had the urge to take some time, look outside, and soak in everything I saw.
It was 6 am so I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, so I looked outside my big window in my room and I literally just sat there for almost an hour, embracing the sunlight and just listening to the sounds of life.
This may sound cliche, but it was so quiet, serene and peaceful, and the only things I heard were the early morning birds talking. I didn’t even hear myself thinking, or Ed thinking, which is sometimes a beautiful place to be in.
As I was just taking in the sunlight and beauty of that 6 am hour, I felt like the only two things in the world existing in that moment was me and my day-nothing and no one else.
It sounds weird to personify my day as if it is a thing or person, but that is what it felt like this morning.
It was me and my day, just sitting in each others company, and it felt like my day chose to be on my side today.
It was almost as if we had made a mutual agreement that I would make my day happy, and in return, my day will not let me down.
I just know that even when Ed tries to creep up on me today, today is on my side and I don’t think Ed’s voice will stay loud for very long.
Today is on my side, and recovery is on my side, and together, day 88 of my 365 days without a scale will be that much easier because of it.
I’m ready for another day of recovery and all the hidden secrets about the simple beauties in life that it chooses to reveal to me when Ed is not blocking my vision.
Even if I don’t like the way my jeans fit today, even if I have a moment or two or three of Ed talking in my ear, I am going into today feeling armed with the strength, confidence and determination that I need to be louder and stronger than Ed.
Maybe Ed won’t be around today, who knows?
All I do know, is that today is mine, and it’s on my side, and I love every part of that.
I am excited for today, and not because I was a certain number on a scale, but because I am excited for life-and to that alone, I so genuinely say to you and to myself, “hello life.”