Good morning everyone,
Today I had the most beautiful morning.
In truth, I’ve actually had a few very beautiful days this week so far.
Maybe these days that I’ve been having that are so free of Ed are because I’ve been distracted with my studies .
Or maybe it’s because I am excited and focused on getting to know the new and genuinely good friends and people that are in my life.
Maybe it’s because I can actually be excited for the weekend with my family and friends.
Whatever the reasons may be, I am not going to try and sit here and figure it out .
I’m just going to enjoy this feeling of excitement and ride this wave for as long as I can.
There is one thing that I know for sure and that is that there is absolutely no way that I would be able to sit here today and tell you all how great it feels to focus on my school again or how great it feels to connect with friends, family and new people in my life again, if not for me fighting for my freedom from Ed and fighting for my recovery.
These new excitements are excitements that I never even knew existed when I was living fully immersed in Ed.
This morning was beautiful because although I still did my habitual body checking, it didn’t last as long .
It didn’t make me cry. It didn’t get the best of me.
I did it and moved on. I feel that I will soon be ready to stop doing it completely.
But for the mean time, I am simply happy with the fact that at one point in my recovery, body checks were almost as important as a scale was, but today, it was only a tiny insignificant part of my day.
More importantly, I woke up this morning and felt good.
I felt ready to start my day, and there wasn’t a scale to ruin that.
I am so grateful for this beautiful morning and the beautiful past few days that came before it.
The more free from Ed I become, the more beautiful my life becomes.
Hello beautiful days and hello life.